Based in Singapore, Heretochange is a collection of anonymous accounts of sexual harassment from across the world.

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Story 16

"If this isnt rape, i dont know what is. "

I was 16, and a virgin. He was around 24 if I recall correctly, a SMU student I had befriended through a mutual friend online. We went to east coast park and he had brought along a bottle of Chivas. I was young and stupid, trying to act grown up. I took the drink he offered me and the next thing I recall, I felt like passing out. It was only 1 paper cup. I only vaguely remember him hailing us a cab as I leaned on him for support. He seemed to have a good mind where were going and confidently told the cab driver. Next thing I know, we were at some motel and I recall throwing up in the bathroom. He came over acting all concerned then laid me down on the bed. He made me give him oral sex and eventually he was on top of me. A flicker of thought that I was still a virgin and wanted my first time to be with someone special, not someone I barely know flashed through my head. But before I could protest, he had entered me and I remember sadly thinking this was it. I don't remember if I slept after that or stayed the night in that room but when I was leaving in a cab, he actually still had the audacity to say mockingly "you aren't a virgin, what." Those words still haunt me to this day. Perhaps my hymen had broken before that first encounter of being sexually penetrated. I don't know, but just like that, he had stolen my first time. If this isnt rape, i dont know what is. Yet, I was too embarrassed to tell anyone about it, afraid my parents would be mad at me for drinking underage with someone i knew online. I repressed the memory of that night and now 12 years later, i sorely regret not having gone to the police and letting that scumbag walk away scottfree smugly.

Story 17

Story 15