Based in Singapore, Heretochange is a collection of anonymous accounts of sexual harassment from across the world.

Share your stories with us.

We believe you. 

Story 12

"I subsequently made a report to the police"

My story happened over a year ago on the night of 18 October 2016. It may be a date that I may gradually forget or simply hold no such significance in the future, except that a nephew was also borned that day. Every year we celebrate my nephew's birthday, I might be reminded of how many years have passed. 

It was supposed to be a breakup meal. I didn't want to attend it initially because I had wanted to leave the relationship which I only found out later was adulterous as the guy is still a married man with a three year old daughter but he claimed to have separated from his wife and slept in separate rooms though still living under the same roof while they coparent their young daughter. The guy convinced me to meet him for that night by asking me just to treat him as one of my other guy married friends. 

We had a meal and somehow during the meal, he managed to draw me out to confide about my past struggles with depression. I cried and he comforted me, putting his hand on thighs. My red flags should have been raised then, but I was probably too emotional to be thinking rationally. What had supposed to be a breakup meal from my perspective, somehow evolved to him holding my hands. 

After the meal, he continued to hold my hands which I had allowed, probably for emotional support and comfort. Then the handholding escalated to hugging, kissing and finally sex which I did not fully consent. 

Then I subsequently made a report to the police at Tanglin Police Station that I had been raped. Perhaps some of you reading this account may be thinking it sounded like I asked for it or allowed to happen to me. That was what I kept feeling afterwards too but I am glad to have found counseling support at AWARE to help me heal from what to me felt like sexual assault at the point of penetration where I had said no three times. 

Thanks for providing this platform for me to share my sexual assault story. I appreciate being able to share it as I heal from this encounter.

Story 13

Story 11