Based in Singapore, Heretochange is a collection of anonymous accounts of sexual harassment from across the world.

Share your stories with us.

We believe you. 

Story 33

Exactly a year ago I walked out of a Tech co. A well-known one. 

For months I was interacting via e-mail and QQ with who I thought was a female colleague in China, but as time went by I realised colleagues in Singapore office are involved and this include my boss.

In real life, my boss is a temperamental European. Few times he acted inappropriately towards me. He will call me over to his table and intimated me by asking me to read out the emails out loud to him. I am an almost 40yr old lady, being treated like a kid. 

One evening, he went too far. He looked at me sharply in the eye with anger while pointing the middle finger to monitor, shoving his middle finger up and down furiously. Then he stuck his tongue out, started panting heavily like a dog and slurping all while looking hard at me. 

He swears freely. Other than F word every other sentence, he personally said to me Dickhead, Numbnut, and lots other disgusting words while discussing abt work. One word "Peanut Butter" which I google to mean...a slut. I am not a slut. Who cares if he is proud dating young girls in the co. 

The very morning after that slurping incident, I tendered in my resignation. He didnt bother to ask. I retracted my resignation after 3 wks after much colleagues coaxing. He ignored and didnt talk to me at all during that 3 weeks.

In that 3 wks, I gave my personal e-add to a colleague in Beijing. To cut the story short, I wasnt talking to her alone but to god knows how many colleagues fr different locations incl Singapore and my boss. 

It is emotionally draining to explain the treatment I received from them online and in real life. Another colleague who was not only openly racist but passed degrading sexual remarks "I should tie you to a tree" while looking at my breasts and butt; "You deserved to be smacked" and him shaking my chair hard each time he passed by me which is often coz he seats next to me. 

One day, i reported to my boss (yes the earlier mentioned) about the other guy and I just lose it. I bawled in front of my boss till he asked if I was affected with his cursing. V if you are reading this, dont you think you are afraid of your own actions and yet u didnt apologise? At that moment, just me and you in the room with me crying, I wish I could tell you, remind you of your past actions towards me. Worst than the other guy! He was doing it openly just as you!

U told me to take the day off, but till today I am confused. Are you being sincere in telling the guy what i actually told you what he did to me or were you just being a good actor that you are; pretending to be on my side while in fact you are doubting my stories. 

Wasnt it clear enough that you are showing me you are indeed part of that impersonation as that beijing colleague? Why arent you man enough to talk to me directly. Why must you be telling me mushy stuffs (washing dishes, apples apples, sexual pixs) and telling people you are in love till others asked me if you are my bf. Why are there conflicting stories about your engagement? Why are there so many hatred towards you and you know it and you are taking advantage of it. 

Remember the first time I mentioned in the email I should file a police report? You sent tens of emails within minutes throughout the evening till night. And I eventually did file a police report months later.

Up till now, I dont know the outcome of the investigation. Are all of you scout free for the rest of your lifes while I keep asking why me? I should have reported you earlier.

The feedback you gave to my next employers. Some openly "reminded" new hirers not to make police report by using the exact examples that I faced under you. When HR did background check, asking me over and over why I left the co while you gave positive feedback abt me. Yes, I know you can attest I am an examplary worker, but you telling them I have OCD?? Should I be revealing the darkest sexual things I encountered with you to these agents/ HR personnel? You are letting me know you are monitoring me.

V if you are reading this, do me a favour by stopping your lies and remember the last words I asked while looking into your eye "Were you on QQ last night?" and you looked away and with the first "Tsk" I heard from you ever, you walked away and so did I; I walked out of that office and didnt look back. Yes, it is me J.

Admit it V. Admit what you did to me. Admit the double life you led. How insincere you are. How good an actor you are. Stop damaging my reputation. 

My only hope now is seeing justice being done. A whole group of them, the bullies who are p****s showing their true faces. I just know I am not the only one and wont be the last. How I wish the world knows this dark secret, well-hidden in this giant co.

Story 34

Story 32