Based in Singapore, Heretochange is a collection of anonymous accounts of sexual harassment from across the world.

Share your stories with us.

We believe you. 

Story 15

"Somehow, in our advanced society, sexual harassment seemed to always be foolish of the men but fault of the women."

This is going to be a little long I'm sorry.

A few years back, my friends and I went on a trip to Japan together. One of them was a guy whom I've only met a few times (he was on that trip because he was close to the rest). He was kinda cute and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't felt a tiny bit of attraction. The group also often teased us saying we looked good together.

So the whole thing started when the group decide to play truth or dare in the hotel room. Jokingly, I dared him to take off his shirt but when he sat up to do so I immediately clarified that I was joking. He took off his shirt anyway (being a fit badminton player I guess he was confident about his body) and afterwards, he continued to stare at me throughout the night.

Of course, I was young and mistook it for attraction. However, the next night he visited my hotel room (I shared with another girl but she always slept early). Playing the same game, he dared me to take off my shirt. I refused and he dropped it, but returned again the next night asking the same thing. When I refused, he tried to lift my shirt. Stupidly, I remained shocked and did not retaliate.

Throughout the trip, he kept trying to make me hug him and kept 'complimenting' how 'hot' my body was. He even asked me to take a bath with him (in Japan, mixed gender onsen baths were available). One night, while waiting for my friends to finish up their onsen baths, I bumped into him. I was wearing a simple yukata tied together by a ribbon. He tried to kiss me and pulled at my yukata. Again, I ran away.

Perhaps I should not have 'tempted' him or even have given him any hope that I liked him. Thinking back on it I was really angry. What made it worse was that he pretended not to know me after we returned to Singapore. He wasn't even genuinely interested and I felt like a dirty disposable plaything.

When I confessed the incident to my other friends a month later, their first response had been: "Maybe you should have worn more than a yukata." I felt utterly betrayed but merely agreed because I didn't know better.

Somehow, in our advanced society, sexual harassment seemed to always be foolish of the men but fault of the women.

Story 16

Story 14